Having Sex After Divorce Is Easier Than You Think…
So you’re divorced and ready to jump back in the saddle.
Congrats! You deserve it. By the time my divorce was finalized, I was chomping at the bit to get in bed with as many new women as possible…
And because of my eagerness, I ended up making a lot of mistakes. But over time, I eventually perfected the art of finding fast, no-strings attached sex with the women I want.
And today, I’m going to show you how to do it as a divorced man.
Debunking The Myth of Finding “The One”
First off, let’s get one thing straight:
Your goal here should not be to find “The One.” “The One” — AKA your perfect woman — most likely doesn’t exist.
As a divorced man, it’s important to be as realistic as possible with the women you meet.
And one of the best ways to gain this kind of perspective is to date multiple women — not necessarily at the same time.
When I first got divorced, dating multiple women allowed me to see what was out there. I’ve slept with WAY more women after my marriage than I did before I got married…
And it’s opened my eyes to so many new, different, and better things.
While I don’t regret tying the knot — I did love my ex-wife, and I do love our amazing children — I really think I should have explored more options before taking the plunge. So when you first jump back in the saddle, your goal should be to meet multiple women.
On top of that, dating multiple women is the best way to find no-strings sex after your divorce.
Now, I know this may sound easier said than done. I won’t lie to you: it does take some work.
But using my experience, I developed a 4-step plan for you to start getting out there, dating more women, and eventually finding that no-strings sex.
Beginning with step 1:
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1) Update Your Social Media
The first step you should take as a newly single man on the prowl is to update all of your social media platforms.
And that’s because social media is the easiest way to reach out to the most women — and it requires very little effort.
So if your relationship status is “Divorced” or isn’t public…change it to “Single” and make that s— public! Because if your goal is to find sex, you need to put yourself out there as a newly single man.
Now, I’m not saying all of your female friends online will want to date you…but some of them might be interested in setting you up with their hot, single friends.
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On top of that, social media platforms make it easy for you to reach out to women from your past.
In my experience, the women from your past who might also be divorced or single are usually very willing to rekindle something (even if it isn’t serious).
So if you find an ex on Facebook, you could send her a message like, “Hey, it’s been awhile…how have you been? Want to meet for coffee sometime?”
This message is straightforward without flat out telling her “I want to have sex with you!” (Something most women would never respond to.)
So step one is to hop on that computer and reach out to the right people. And definitely don’t ignore your past.
Which brings me to the next step:
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2) Take Advantage of Dating Apps
Like with social media, online dating is one of the easiest ways to find sex after a divorce.
Tinder and Bumble are both great apps to meet women — the trick is not to “pad your resume” too much.
Be as honest as you’re comfortable with, and don’t use pictures that are more than 2 or 3 years old. And when you do get a match, don’t send her more than 5 or 6 messages without asking her out for a drink (or else you might end up texting her for months without ever getting her in person).
In my experience, it’s also great to be as open-minded as possible. For example, if you come across a woman you would never have considered dating before your marriage…
Why not give her a chance? Some of the best post-divorce sex I’ve ever had was with women I never would have given the time of day before.
The bottom line: You will find all sorts of women on these online dating apps — the more open-minded you are, the easier it will be to get her into bed.
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3) Take It Slow…But Not Too Slow
It’s great to want sex, and it’s important to let the woman you’re with know that — but you shouldn’t force sex on the first date if it doesn’t feel right.
So if sex isn’t on the table, give her a few dates to warm up to you…she’ll be much more willing to go to bed with you that way (trust me).
And once you do have sex with her, it’s important to mentally protect yourself.
Why?
You just got out of a marriage! Take. It. Slow. Falling in love again is definitely not a bad thing…
But you shouldn’t attach yourself to the first woman you have sex with after your divorce. Don’t get me wrong — She might be kind…
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And lovely…
And great in bed…
But you’re still newly divorced, so it’s important to ease back into the game slowly.
Don’t dive head first into a relationship you’re not emotionally ready to take on. Let her know on the first date that you’re not in a position to commit.
Because if she sticks around after you let her know, then you can be certain your relationship will be drama-free moving forward.
Just take it from me:
The first post-divorce action I got came from a woman who messaged me on Facebook — she was a friend of a friend and asked to meet up for a drink.
I let her know right away that I wasn't interested in commitment. And you know what happened?
After one drink, she led me out to her car and we had a quickie. You see, women respect men who make their intentions clear. So if you can tell her what's up…
Then she'll have a much easier time opening up to you later on. After that, the trick is to spark her sexual desire for you on the first date.
And here’s what worked for me:
How To Use My “Fast Attraction Friendly Touch” on a First Date
Fact: Women are up to 10x more sensitive to touch than you or I are.
So if you want to get physical with a woman…the best way to “prime” her for action later on is to use subtle, “friendly” touches on your first date…
Because these “friendly” touches are a lot more than “friendly”…they form a powerful physical connection…so she feels comfortable enough to make the first move (and trust me, she will).
A decade ago, these kinds of touches would never work because women used to move a lot slower (like waiting 3 dates for a damn peck on the cheek)…
But I discovered this “Fast Attraction Friendly Touch” that I’ve been using lately…
The first time I used it, my date — who I thought was a total ice queen — ended up making out with me in a bar…and then invited me back to her place (nice).
So check it out — you’ll love it:
How to Use My “Fast Attraction Friendly Touch” to Spark Her Sexual Desire for YOU…
How To Avoid “Sexual Burnout” & Get Your Head Back in The Game
I’ve talked about ways of releasing that kind of pressure before. Let’s recap them briefly.
After a date (regardless of whether it was good or bad), begin by asking yourself three questions:
- What went right…?
- How would you like things to go…?
- What are you going to do next time…?
And when you’re answering these questions, remember to look on the bright side.
I know and you know that sometimes, or maybe just eventually, you’re not going to feel so good about dating.
Maybe, instead of the questions I told you to ask, you’re asking, “What went wrong?”
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And if you’re asking that question, chances are you are finding answers to it.
The result of that is, without a doubt, not a great feeling. And there's no way in hell it's going to boost your confidence.
In addition to that, even if you are following my prescriptions to the letter…
And returning from every interaction asking, “What went right?”…
There's still a chance you're going to experience burnout.
What happens then?
Well, when you're in one of these darker moments, it means it's time to refresh, recharge, and refuel.
But how do you do that?
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The Secret to Feeling “Refreshed” & Ready to Start Dating Again
When I say “refresh,” I mean get out of the “It's always like this” mindset.
Even if your last date went horribly, remember that not every date is like that.
Sometimes, things go really well.
For example, that whole group of girls seemed to like you one night…
Or maybe that hottie asked for your named before you had even made an effort to say “Hello”…
It could be as simple as you kissed a girl, and you really enjoyed it.
Find ways of starting over — respawn. You will know better than me how to do that, but here's one of my best suggestions:
If you keep a journal, do a review of sorts.
Keep track of what happens in your life — both the good and the bad. Over time, you'll begin to notice that things start to even out.
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It Doesn’t End There…
If you re-read things in your journal that went well, remind yourself that you were responsible for that and that you can make it happen again.
On top of that, I want to remind you that sometimes, things get worse before they get better.
And if you don't keep a journal, that won't make what I'm about to show you any harder to do…
However, it will make it harder to believe.
Ask yourself these questions during your review, and think about a response. (You can write the answers that come to you, but you don't have to.)
1) Have I ever done better than this? (You will again.)
2) Have things ever been worse than this? (Be grateful, and notice how far you've come.)
3) Am I even the slightest bit better than I was in the past? (The trend, then, is upward.)
These questions will help you get motivated to start recharging & refueling your sex and dating life.
And from there, here's what you should do next:
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14 Hacks to Jumpstart Your Sex & Dating Life
Again, you will know this better than me, but there are things you can do that make you feel good. These things might even make you feel like a brand-new man.
Yes, I know a BJ is on the top of the list for most guys… but there are also things you can do to recharge yourself that you have more control over.
So with that in mind, here are 14 simple activities to recharge yourself that have worked for both myself & my clients:
1) Visit a steam room, sauna or spa — or just take a nice hot bath…
2) Take a run in your favorite park…
3) Go see a concert, broadway show, or opera…
4) Listen to music you love…
5) Read a good book…
6) Watch a movie…
7) Take a long walk…
8) Spend time with your family — perhaps your younger nephews or nieces…
9) Take a long drive…
10) Play a sport…
11) Play games (chess, pool, video games, etc.)…
12) Work — or do other things you know you're good at…
13) Spend time with your guy friends (not with any female friends you might have feelings for)…
14) And finally, do karaoke…
Ultimately, do the things that you know make you feel good, energized, and new.
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What’s The Next Step?
Finally — but certainly only after you feel like you are refreshed and recharged — you want to put some fuel into your tank for the road ahead.
Take a couple days to relax and restart. Don't force yourself into doing too much.
Just focus on yourself.
Because take it from me, man — dating today is hard. So it's important to be prepared for whatever comes your way.
So what should you expect once you're refreshed, recharged, refueled & ready to hit the scene?
Here's just a taste from my personal experience…
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How To Join the 6% of “Elite” Men Who Get Practically Any Woman They Want…
You and I both know that dating today can feel pretty frustrating… and at times, downright impossible.
In fact, one recent study found that 94% of men are still searching for their “perfect” woman…and what’s worse, they struggle to land dates with above-average women… which got me thinking:
What about the other 6% of men???
According to the study:
The other 6% of ‘elite’ men are getting up to a dozen dates a week… taking home their city’s most beautiful women on a regular basis… some even reported having threesomes with NFL cheerleaders… even though most of them are just ‘regular’ guys.”
How?
Well, they have access to a “Skeleton Key” of sorts… which shows them exactly what to say… where to go… and what to do… to achieve the “Ultimate Sexual Mastery” most men can only dream of.
Though I’ve gotta warn you… achieving this kind of “Ultimate Sexual Mastery” takes a little elbow grease… and it won’t happen overnight…
But if you think you’re up for the challenge… then check this out:
How To Join the 6% of “Elite” Men Who Get Practically Any Woman They Want…
[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on October 12, 2019.]
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