How To Keep Her Interested With Texts & Phone Calls

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If you're joining our call “already in progress,” here's a quick recap:

Recently I wrote about the relative advantages and disadvantages of texting and calling women.

Because in any relationship when you're not seeing a woman more than 3 times per week… there's going to be a need for maintaining your connection through other forms of communication.

And even if you do see a woman more than 3 times per week, you'll probably want to communicate more when you're apart.

Texting and calling a woman you're dating is completely normal. In fact, I'd argue that it's necessary to maintain a proper connection.

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You can understand, then, that when you're apart from a woman –sometimes even if it's only for a couple of hours–one or both of you will want to share the little things that come to mind.

That means that some form of–usually electronic–communication will come into play.

So which is better? Phone or text?

And when?

That's what I'm going to show you today.

The #1 Disadvantage of Using The Phone…

If we're discussing the disadvantages of the phone, there's one big one:

It can't replicate the experience of sitting across from a woman, one-on-one.

However, with things like FaceTime and the like, you can experience a closeness that's very much like the real thing.

There's one more disadvantage of talking on the phone that I'm about to show you… and here's what it is:

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The “Time Factor” (And How It Gets Her to Open Up To You)

The other major disadvantage of using the phone is what I call the “time factor.”

In some cases, this can be a strength, but for now, let's first discuss how it can be a weakness.

Time is one of the determinant factors of a phone call. If you don't have a lot of time, you might be “short” on the phone, or even start the call by voicing your concern.

For example, “Hey, I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to know if…”

Or, “I can't talk long…” And, “I have a meeting in 10 minutes, but…”

This can certainly avoid the insult of an abrupt conversation or a rushed call.

You can still rush or cut the call suddenly, but a warning like that can completely save the other person's hurt feelings.

However, it will usually affect the tone and content of the call.

Often, the other person, being told the call will be short, will not invest in the same way.

So she might reply, “No, listen, my thing can wait. Let's talk when you have more time.”

So how can you get around that?

How To Make Her Feel Closer To You–Even If You’re Far Away…

I find that a woman who really enjoys the patient, focused way that I listen, can clam up–at least at the beginning of the call–when she knows I need to be short.

It can take time for the comfort of saying whatever comes to mind to creep up on a person, and instinctively knowing this, she just won't go there.

If I ignore her curtness and talk in a relaxed, unhurried way, though, she usually “forgets” that I have limited time–and we can still connect.

You've got to keep an eye on the clock if you do this, though, since the time does fly in a good conversation.

Another interesting thing about phone calls?

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You trade time with the woman you're talking to. But what exactly does that mean?

I mean that the particular nature of a phone call is that the amount of time spent is the same for both you and the woman you're talking to.

If she's talking, you need to be listening–and vice versa.

This also means that silence is stronger on the phone than in text, because the timing is accurate.

You can feel her waiting for your answer, or pausing–and hear her sharp intake of breath–before she responds (for example).

This sort of “time trading” can be fine if you both have similar availability.

However, this is usually not the case.

That’s Not All…

At the end of the day, most people don't appreciate the time you spend on the phone the same way they appreciate the time you actually spend with them.

They don’t recognize or appreciate those minutes or hours.

Here's what I mean:

“Talk to a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like 10 minutes. Sit on a hot stove for 10 minutes and it seems like an hour. That’s Relativity.”

Usually, I find that if you’ve been on the phone for an hour, a woman feels that the trade is even.

She spent an hour (talking) and you spent an hour (listening).

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In truth, though, during the hour you spent on the phone:

She was in a park near a service station where her car's oil was being changed…

And you were standing outside the glass walls of a conference room you had stepped out of to take the call.

So as you can see, time can sometimes feel unequal over the phone.

Texting is not quite the same.

The “Secret Power” of Texting (And How It Keeps Your Connection Alive)…

With texting, it often takes longer to write a text than to read one.

So in text or email, you are spending extra time writing what she will spend much less time reading. And vice versa.

So if this other woman is less interested in you, or your conversation is not holding her attention, she can feel like she's sitting on a hot stove (like from the quote above).

On the phone, this means she'll want to talk less and less. When she has made the decision, “I don't see this going anywhere,” she'll usually stop “wasting time” on the phone.

Texting, on the other hand, is ideal for keeping an uncertain connection like this alive.

Why?

Well, it's simple–because it demands much less of your time.

The woman who might be questioning her interest may still continue to text you. And this gives you a huge opportunity to grow her interest in you.

If you can keep that connection alive, eventually over time, she may “discover” that she is, in fact, interested in you.

But what sorts of texts can you send her to spark this interest?

I'll show you:

What Words & Phrases Do Women Respond To Most?

A lot of guys think that you need to be “witty” & “clever” with your texts in order to get a response… and to be quite honest, I used to think the same.

However, these days the opposite is true.

In fact, in today’s world, the texts that make a woman stop dead in her tracks… smile & blush… and send you a response right away… well, they aren’t clever at all.

Instead, they accomplish ONE goal:

They make her feel a personal connection to you.

(This feeling is also what causes a woman to invite you over late at night… or text you more often during the day… or even send you X-rated pictures haha)

So we made this guide to explain how you can text a woman to make her feel that way almost instantly….

…and you can check it out right here :-):

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[Note: This post was updated by Gotham Club on September 27, 2020.]